The internet is full of wonderful things that help you in your everyday existence, spreading joy and love across the land. But just like fables of old: where there is light there must also be darkness, locked in eternal battle for your computer’s spirit. The darkness in relation to computers commonly takes the form of viruses, a never ending wave of evil attempting to batter your PC into submission with new threats being released every day. While they won’t all turn your computer into a zombie botnet slave there are still enough being produced that it can be a recurring problem for the casual computer user.
Here are some practical tips to help deal with them.
Sun Tzu had it right in the “Art of War” when he said “To know thy enemy, you must become your enemy”. So delete your own cherished data without compunction, corrupt all your files, especially ones that you haven’t backed up yet, and slow down your computer with useless tasks until it can barely do anything of value. Only then will you truly understand the computer virus. You could also try thinking only in one’s and zero’s but that’s harder than you think. However there is the very real danger that you may come to sympathize with the virus and show mercy when it comes time to destroy it. This kind of human emotional frailty must be seen as the weakness that it is or the virus has already won.
If you want to know how important internet security and virus protection has become, you need look no further than recent spy films, where it is becoming an ever more integral plot point. It’s getting so the good guys are relieved when the baddies only have a nuclear weapon and not a computer virus that can really wreak havoc on the world.
If you suspect a problem, one trick to try is turn off all the lights so the computer screen is the only illumination, put a really serious expression on your face and then type really really really fast. For examples of how to nail the expression and hit the right key intensity just watch; Skyfall, Die Hard 4, Shadow Recruit or any Mission Impossible film.
If you’re worried that there might be an issue which isn’t part of Computer Virus Simulator 2014, the wholesome fun way for the the whole family to experience viruses in a safe environment, then just remember you can always simply disconnect the internet cable or disable the Wi-Fi to stop anyone from being able to take information from your computer. Unless of course they’re hacking into your computer from inside your house, in which case grabbing a cricket bat and heading to your panic room is your only option to ensure security.
It’s an admirable trait to want to do things yourself, and scanning for viruses is no exception. You would need to learn the signs of infection, which can include your computer running slower than usual, files that are corrupt and unusable, as well as being observant enough to notice when windows fails to load. Unfortunately not all viruses display outward signs, which makes detecting them quite hard. So unless you don’t mind spending your weekends combing through file after file for an erroneous byte that signifies danger, it might be easier to get a virus scanner (we recommend Trend) and spend your free time learning bird calls or some other vital societal function.
Having trouble with a virus? Find out more information to get rid of it!