6 Computer Habits That Could End Your Marriage

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Outside of child birth, marriage is one of the biggest steps you can make in your life, but unfortunately some people don’t fully consider what that union really means. Sure everyone knows you have to share your life with them, but no one mentioned anything about having to share your computer, that wasn’t in the marriage vows! At SuperGeek we want to help keep your marriage on track, so we’ve identified through peer reviewed research, 6 bad habits that could put your married bliss in jeopardy.


The Cheater

Hopefully you trust your partner and your pretty confident that you’ll never have to experience any infidelity in your marriage. But I guess that depends on what you consider an infidelity. Ask yourself when was the last time your computer had a problem, one month ago? Two? A year? Or two? Trust us when we say no computer works forever without eventually getting an error, so if you’re not fixing it, and they’re not fixing it, who’s fixing it? When it comes to computer maintenance you might be getting cheated on! This video shows you some of the signs to look for.

Obsessive Compulsive

This is a partner who will always clear the recycle bin, even if they weren’t the ones who put the files in there, or actually deleted anything while they were on the computer. They don’t realise that, sure you deleted them, but you only did that as a first step while you were still considering whether to commit to a full blown removal. And only now after sleeping on it, do you realise that yes, you do in fact want that picture of Higgins from Magnum P.I. eating a banana. Which you will now have to download from the internet all over again.

Solution: Set boundaries.

Tab Addiction

In this instance tab isn’t short for tablet, we’re talking about the hard stuff, browser tabs. Do you sit down at the computer for some leisurely internet browsing for chimpanzee frisbee videos, only to find that there’s so many tabs open in the browser, that there’s not even any space for a label to tell you what the tab is? But heaven forbid if you try to close any of them. ”Where’s the site I had open that showed me how to make homemade toothpaste?”

Solution: Intervention, invite everyone who has been callously hurt by their excessive tabbery and let them know your pain.

The Anarchist

Now maybe you’re not a neat freak or someone very obsessive compulsive at all. It’s still nice to have things orderly, the mouse on top of the mouse mat and not vice versa for example, which makes the anarchist all the more frustrating to deal with. You can be reasonable, but how can you live in such a state when they leave files all over the desktop so it turns your desktop into a real life game of minesweeper. Damn it! Not Nero! I wanted Word.

Solution: His and hers window accounts
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The Expert

Does your partner think they’re hot stuff when it comes to maintaining your computer? Do they have a slightly higher level of computer knowledge that they like to flaunt in your face, “Don’t stick that in there it’s only a USB 2 port silly”. Do they take way too much satisfaction in bringing up facts from the occasional technical article they read or have very strong opinions on other’s opinions of the technical details of the NBN.

Solution: Public Shaming; the only recourse for this is to bring in a true expert and shame them publicly. Organise a BBQ with all your friends and family, then bring out the computer to play music, with a few of the more hidden sound options muted and just let them hang themselves before your plant saves the day. If you don’t have any friends who are technically up to the task, don’t worry because SuperGeek offer a special undercover shaming service. It will however cost slightly more than our regular service, but hey good fake moustaches aren’t cheap.

Control Freak

The Control Freak, also known as the blamer is the person who dominates the home computer, they are the one who installs new software, they are the one who defragments the hard drive, they are the one who changes the wallpaper. The upside of this is, if you’re not interested in the maintenance of your computer, you get access to a top machine, the downside however is, anything that goes wrong with it is your fault. You’ll hear phrases such as “Why is the mouse moving so quickly, did you change a setting?” Why is the browser zoomed in to 125%?” and the way through to “How could you get this virus? Do you hate me so much you deliberately turned off the antivirus?”.

Solution: This one is a case of irreconcilable differences, not even getting your own computer can help you here, you need to get a new partner.

Counselling

SuperGeek doesn’t believe in traditional counselling philosophies, what we offer is actually computer training to correct any technical skill imbalance in your relationship, which we believe will get your relationship back on an even keel. Find out more about SuperGeek computer training below.

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