Computers may seem pretty simple, but that is because a lot of effort has gone into making them easy to use (hopefully). Which means we don’t need to know the complex workings of our computers to reap the benefits of them, that is until something goes wrong.
Office 365 is the latest Office Offering from Microsoft. It takes everything that you loved and learned from previous Office incarnations and puts it in the cloud, accessible anywhere, on any device. But what does that mean exactly? It means that Office 365 has now become a survival staple for navigating the business environment.
SuperGeek are perfect for the job.
On Friday the 13th of June 2014 two SuperGeeks, Michael Wilson and Colin Adams fought in a charity boxing match to raise money for the Brisbane Children’s Hospital. They each had a rigorous training regime coming up to the night, not including the hours they spent playing boxing computer games. We got in backstage to have a chat with them to see how they were feeling and to let them know that if they got knocked out they wouldn’t re-spawn back at the start, to which they were visibly shocked; hopefully they don’t carry that with them into the fight.
Check out the video to see how they fared.
If you’re job involves processing words, tabling numbers or presenting words and numbers (82.3% of Australians*(Not a real statistic, but surely it’s close to the mark!)), chances are you’ve been using Microsoft Office to do it. If you’ve been at it for years then you’ve no doubt become so adroit at its use, that you have a few land speed word processing records on the mantle.
However as the internet becomes an ever more integral part of business operations, businesses are now having to be faster and more flexible to compete, meaning having Word and all it’s associated files locked down to a desktop isn’t going to cut it. Which is why Microsoft has made everything that you liked in the old Office, added some new features and put it in the cloud, calling it Office 365.
First off here’s a common office scenario that illustrates Office 365’s advantages.
Pirates have abducted your boss. What she was doing sailing in treacherous waters off the coast of Somalia while she should have been at her desk writing a Powerpoint presentation on risk management, IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM! Let HR sort that out. All you need to know is that the only way to save the day, (not your boss, they’re done for), is to finish off the Powerpoint presentation she was working on. But OH NO! You’re currently on vacation, laying on a beach in Fiji, without your computer!
A couple of years ago that would have been an untenable position and you would not have been able to rise to the challenge, finish the job and wrest your boss’s job from their cold dead hands. But now thanks to Office 365 all those issues are in the past, including piracy, though not the right kind for your imaginary boss.
So here are five other reasons to switch to Office 365
Your emails soar like majestic eagles across the internet to find you, only to be tethered to your hard drive for the rest of their life. With Office 365 they can finally be free to glide on the eternal updrafts of internet bandwidth as nature intended them to.
Meaning, no longer will your emails resent being split up from their brother and sister emails because you’ve accessed your email on different devices all over town. With Office 365 your emails will stay together in the cloud, for which they will reward you by being accessible anywhere you can get internet. They’ll also never again clone themselves and trying to grab your attention by pretending you haven’t read them.
The outlook from your cubicle in the sub basement office suite might not be the best, but from the cloud it’s glorious and your emails will appreciate it.
Microsoft have brought us some great communication tools over the years with their messenger and skype programs, and now they’ve integrated those tools into Office 365. Meaning instant messaging, audio and video communication channels are now directly available, so you can communicate with colleagues or clients while sharing and collaborating on a document. The only draw back is, it will be too easy to communicating too much.
“Come on Carol, those profit projections for 2014-2019, TMI Carol, TMI”
All across the internet “The Cloud Wars” doth rage, don’t worry we’re not talking about a data on data melee which would be such a too horrific to imagine. No we’re talking about the myriad of cloud storage companies vying for the privilege of storing your precious data.
Fortunately you don’t have to worry about which cloud storage offsets the colour of your eyes, because Office 365 comes with it’s own cloud storage called OneDrive. So if you’re working on a document it will be stored on OneDrive, and when you share it, you and others will be able to access and work on the same file at the same time. Alleviating any confusion as to which document is the most current, while providing the ability to go back to previous version, and also regular autosaves.
You will still be able to choose to work offline, but we wouldn’t recommend that, as you could quickly be labelled a loner and become a pariah for name calling around the office.
As well as all that there is the added security of storing files on the cloud locked away behind a password and in the future D.N.A. scanning nanobots that will live on the surface of your retina.
You were taught in school that sharing is a great way to make friends, and that is also true in business. Share Point is there to facilitate collaboration by giving you the tool to control access to your documents with a few clicks. Meaning you can provide different usage rights to different user, such as allowing to only read it, or give editing privileges, as well as the ability for them to on share it. Allowing you and your team to work together simultaneously on any of the office programs. It also means you to see who, if anyone is working on the same document right now as well as what they’re doing. Which really lends itself to giving them a hoy on Lync, to tell them to back off that carefully worded pun you’ve just spent 2 hours slaving over for opening slide of the presentation.
Share Point also allows for people to share calendars, so no more synchronising swatches at the start of the day.
And finally the last reason is, that it has updated versions of the all the programs that you’ve become so proficient in; Word, Excel, Powerpoint, Outlook, OneNote, Publisher and Access. Your efficiency will be reduced if you have to learn new spreadsheet shortcut keys, not to mention the anxiety attacks you’ll suffer from having to write a proposal using notepad.
So just like a Pixar film, with Office 365 there’ll be a happy ending.
When it comes to choosing a new computer or device you can easily spend hours pouring over the minute details of long specification lists. “This one has 400,001 pixel whereas this other one has 400,002.” Which is great, until you start waking up from restless sleeps over and over again, asking yourself in a panic “Do I really need that extra pixel?” Sometimes the specs aren’t as important as some more practical aspects such as how the device fits in with the flow of your life. That’s why it’s important to consider Digital Feng Shui.
We’ve been having to hit buttons to get machines to do things since the industrial revolution. The problem with keyboard/mouse combination is that they can be crawling with dirt and bacteria but look perfectly normal, causing you to touch who knows what when you just want to open your email browser. Thankfully, with touch screen technology the slightest touch from a greasy finger can not only be seen, it completely obscures your view of the screen, meaning you’ll make sure your hands are clean and your device sanitised just so you can see what your doing.
But even touch screens seem archaic these days. Should you really have to touch things anymore? If I can’t just wave my hand at the device like an emperor whose divine power precludes me from sullying my hands, then I don’t want to know about it. Fortunately hand gesture technology could soon replace the mouse, and infrared virtual keyboards can finally let us all take the leap into looking like mental patients while we read wikipedia articles.
Being portable is the main strength of tablets and smartphones, but if you require the raw power of a desktop then you only really have one choice; make your desktop portable.
All you need to do this is a car battery, a car power inverter and large sack and you’re all set. If you lack the upper body strength to lug your desktop around in a sack on your back, all you have to do is find yourself a discarded shopping trolley, connect it up and your desktop is now as portable as can be with your monitor fitting handily in the fold out baby seat. If you’re looking to turn heads at your next business meeting, this is the way to do it.
Pro Tip: Steal a trolley from a name brand supermarket in an middle to upper class suburb. As trolley with a shonky wheel may adversely affect mouse control.
When it comes to smartphones there are now so many options available in terms of screen size that you really need an algorithm to figure it out for you or you may get one of the factors confused such as whether to use mean or median when calculating your average pocket size for maximum accessibility. This can be disastrous because when a friend does something stupid, because you need to have the confidence that you can draw your device out of your pocket in less time than it takes them to realise how silly they look. Every second counts!
On portable devices, large onboard data storage can sometimes double the price. Cloud storage can be a solution if you have the mobile data plan to handle it, but sometimes you will have to make the hard choices. Do you really need to keep all 7 seasons of Lost in High Definition on your phone just in case you suddenly get the urge to watch it on the bus?
When intel releases their computer processors which currently power most PCs, they come in a range of qualities just like cars, there’s the Hyundai’s, (i3’s ) reliable get the job done types. Then there’s the BMW(i5’s), a bit more powerful, a smoother experience and a bit of self indulgent smug bragging rights. Then there’s the Ferrari; with the top of the line engine under the hood, that can go so fast you can’t really use it to it’s full potential on normal information superhighways, and which also lets everyone know that you’re probably over compensating for something.
So choosing the right one for it’s intended use should be the main consideration. If you only plan to do word processing and watch youtube videos, you may not need to buy the latest generation core i7. But if you do have have extra unused processing speed you can always donate it to some worthwhile causes such as FightAids.
So next time your partners sibling starts to get smug at the family barbecue talking about their recent trip to Africa to help feed starving children you’ll have an ace in the hole.
The CRT monitor is dead. It may seem bad for the environment to throw your 17” monitor that served you so well since the first Gulf War, but there is no point buying a new computer if the interface you look at to use it looks exactly the same running DOS as it does windows 8.
If you’re looking for a cinema experience from your computer monitor then 3D is the way to go. You haven’t really experienced the web until you’ve trawled through Gumtree in 3D, it’s like the second hand microwaves and old coffee tables are coming right at you.
The recent film “Transcendence” starring Johnny Depp, explores the idea of transhumanism; improving on the human condition through the symbiosis of human flesh and technology.
Don’t worry, there won’t be any spoilers here in case you haven’t seen it, as we haven’t either.
But from the trailer we can glean that Johnny Depp’s character’s consciousness being transferred into a computer doesn’t work out well, turning evil, spreading across the world hurting people. But that’s kind of to be expected in a big Hollywood thriller, not many people would care to see the movie where his consciousness is happy to stay put on their home PC, blissfully wiling away it’s time merely controlling the air conditioning and mood lighting of the house; even though he would be controlling it like a total boss!
So we thought we’d focus on some more practical aspects of transhumanism and what it could mean for your future. While right now you may scoff at the idea of altering the sheer perfection that is your very own self; but eventually that resolve will fade and you’ll look at your paltry memory banks and your need to quote verbatim whole episodes of dialogue from The Big Bang Theory and realise you need an upgrade.
Right now the terms computer and virus are pretty synonymous with each other, much like humans and viruses. But whereas computer viruses only target computers and biological viruses only target living tissue, with transcendence this won’t always be the case.
While the phrase I’m pretty tired my batteries are running low is currently only a metaphor, it won’t be in the future! Unless they find a way to use our metabolised energy to power bionic enhancements, batteries will most likely have to be relied upon. But for many right now battery life is one of the most frustrating aspects of portable devices, most specifically smartphones, which due to their constant use just can’t keep up.
Sure battery technology is constantly improving, but something like a bionic arm will suck up a lot of juice. How many times a day would you have to charge it? There won’t be anything sadder than when everyone goes up for a high five and all you can do is mumble;
“Sorry I can’t, I’ve got my arm on power saver mode, that high five is non-critical to operations.”
When your new transhuman components crash it won’t be called a blue screen of death, it’ll be called a black screen of death because you’ll be performing an alt-crtl-del on a processor, which is inside your head and running some pretty important processes, like your heart. You’d have to be pretty confident in technology to be the guinea pig in this experiment, I don’t even trust my smartphone to be able to make calls every time, so I’m not sure I’d trust it’s offspring to process my thoughts.
People love to play pranks on each other, and as our bodies become more sophisticated, so too will the pranks. Not many will be able to turn down the prospect of hacking into their friends bionic limb and giving them a funny walk or making their overly macho friend skip gaily wherever they go.
One note to future technologists though, if you want to keep people efforts away from hacking into other’s implants, then halt any development into implants for the bowel right now, as it is just too tempting for the mischievous among humanity.
The question of where should we focus our attention first is a big one, while work has already been done in regard to robotic hand and foot replacements, it could still be a while before they get to other aspects of the body. However if email spam is any way to gauge what is the most burning issue of our existence, then one of the first improvements will have to be made on men’s downstairs. Women often credit men with having a tiny brain down there, and in the future that could be true in the form of a tiny micro-processor.
Even though a lot of advancements will be made with technology to help those suffering from illnesses or disfigurement, there will also be a cosmetic market to enhance performance. But being released from the constraints of your genes and the requirement to put in hard work to acquire knowledge will make for a slippery slope for anyone with disposable cash in their bionic hip pocket.
Just think in the future, people won’t just be envying your new flying Ferrari, but also your bicep 3000 actuators and assplant XT. While these might seem like warranted enhancements to us now, in a future where we won’t need to squat or curl anything because robots will be doing everything, it will be purely cosmetic, but still your PBs will be off the charts.
While the technology still isn’t at the point where we can stick an extra bit of memory in your computer, it is at the point where we can stick an extra bit of memory in your computer, so to see what’s available check out the SuperGeek Shop.
The internet is a great place for finding out information that can help us in our day to day, but what may start out as a practical check on the barometric pressure 12 storeys above sea level, can quickly turn into clicking through endless picture galleries that compare popular actor’s body shapes to the different type of bean they resemble. This coupled with your healthy interest in staying up to date with fitness trends; meaning you read so many articles on the subject, that you don’t have any actually time available to carry out such exercises, could mean that you have an internet time wasting problem.
Fortunately we’ve thought up ways to try and curb your time wasting online and compiled it in a top 5 list, which if you’re here reading this, is your preferred method of taking in information.
Make a challenge with a friend to try and curb each others internet dalliances, by setting a nasty consequence for the loser. Given you’re both addicts and duplicitous in nature, the trust system wouldn’t work, but luckily monitoring programs can be set up these days to track internet usage. Obviously it’s still up to exploitation, if for example you wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night and hoof it to your local internet cafe, (if one still exists near you that is) to get your fix.
While this solution is great for helping those with mild problems, it won’t work on hardcore internet junkies, as the stakes won’t be high enough, because you can still peruse the internet just as effectively with no eyebrows, as you can with them.
If you already know everything then chances are the internet isn’t going to be as an exciting a place. For example an article on “The Top 5 Inventions from the Industrial Revolution that are Still in Use Today!” won’t be anywhere near as appealing; unless you’re looking for some validation on how sound your knowledge of 18th century steam turbines is, just to put a hop in your step.
However this kind of knowledge is hard to accumulate and unfortunately is most readily available on the very medium which we are trying to save you from. So until direct, information to brain downloads become a commercial reality, it’s probably too laborious of a process. Sorry, this one was a bit of a waste of your time. Our bad!
As we mentioned at the start there are legitimate reasons to use the internet, these can normal be accomplished quickly. An example of misappropriation of time, is If it takes you three hours to decide on which movie to see at the cinema, because you can’t make a decision unless you read all the “Top 5 Lists” detailing other movies each principal cast member and crew has been in, all the way down to what the clapper loader has worked on.
What we suggest here may seem drastic but read us out, we’ve devised a simple case or keyboard dongle which coupled with an app monitors your internet usage and provides an as uncomfortable as humanly possible, (while still being safe) shock to your hands as each top 5 list loads on your screen.
While this could lead to problems through abuse by any sadomasochistic internet users, the rewards to the rest of humanity easily outway it. So it sounds pretty great huh, well it could be, with your help as it’s not yet made, but here is a draft of our kickstarter for the Top 5 Zapper project, let us know what you think.
For some the very idea of having to sit up straight at a desk looking at a computer is enough of a disincentive to stay off the internet, for these people though, mobile computing is their poison. There are tonnes of great mobile data plans out there which provide multiple gigabytes worth of downloading pleasure at your fingertips. The easy solution to curb this freedom is get the worst one around. You may have to search long and hard for a monthly plan with only 100MB of data with a 50¢/ MB excess data fee, but once you do, it will easily stop any wayward internet browsing.
Your weak will to resist any content that starts with Top 5 is what got you into this mess and this article isn’t going to be able to magically fix that, it’s actually facilitating it. So you can’t tackle the issue through force of will, but another option is to put natural barriers in place to curb your inquisitive nature. This can be achieved by only using the internet when you have 5 minutes before you have to do something really important, like go to work, pick a friend up from the airport or eat a foot long hot dog. Obviously we now have the technology so the internet can follow us via our mobiles, so in this case you should only start to use the internet just before you have to walk into a building with bad reception or right before you’re about to enter a really long tunnel.
The internet is full of wonderful things that help you in your everyday existence, spreading joy and love across the land. But just like fables of old: where there is light there must also be darkness, locked in eternal battle for your computer’s spirit. The darkness in relation to computers commonly takes the form of viruses, a never ending wave of evil attempting to batter your PC into submission with new threats being released every day. While they won’t all turn your computer into a zombie botnet slave there are still enough being produced that it can be a recurring problem for the casual computer user.
Here are some practical tips to help deal with them.
Sun Tzu had it right in the “Art of War” when he said “To know thy enemy, you must become your enemy”. So delete your own cherished data without compunction, corrupt all your files, especially ones that you haven’t backed up yet, and slow down your computer with useless tasks until it can barely do anything of value. Only then will you truly understand the computer virus. You could also try thinking only in one’s and zero’s but that’s harder than you think. However there is the very real danger that you may come to sympathize with the virus and show mercy when it comes time to destroy it. This kind of human emotional frailty must be seen as the weakness that it is or the virus has already won.
If you want to know how important internet security and virus protection has become, you need look no further than recent spy films, where it is becoming an ever more integral plot point. It’s getting so the good guys are relieved when the baddies only have a nuclear weapon and not a computer virus that can really wreak havoc on the world.
If you suspect a problem, one trick to try is turn off all the lights so the computer screen is the only illumination, put a really serious expression on your face and then type really really really fast. For examples of how to nail the expression and hit the right key intensity just watch; Skyfall, Die Hard 4, Shadow Recruit or any Mission Impossible film.
If you’re worried that there might be an issue which isn’t part of Computer Virus Simulator 2014, the wholesome fun way for the the whole family to experience viruses in a safe environment, then just remember you can always simply disconnect the internet cable or disable the Wi-Fi to stop anyone from being able to take information from your computer. Unless of course they’re hacking into your computer from inside your house, in which case grabbing a cricket bat and heading to your panic room is your only option to ensure security.
It’s an admirable trait to want to do things yourself, and scanning for viruses is no exception. You would need to learn the signs of infection, which can include your computer running slower than usual, files that are corrupt and unusable, as well as being observant enough to notice when windows fails to load. Unfortunately not all viruses display outward signs, which makes detecting them quite hard. So unless you don’t mind spending your weekends combing through file after file for an erroneous byte that signifies danger, it might be easier to get a virus scanner (we recommend Trend) and spend your free time learning bird calls or some other vital societal function.
Having trouble with a virus? Find out more information to get rid of it!
We’ve come a long way in a short time with technological advancement, but unfortunately as we come to use devices like smartphones in more and more facets of our lives, we’re starting to lag when it comes to their associated hygiene, perhaps because it’s not something that has been ingrained in our upbringings.
We can however associate it with other items, for example you wouldn’t pick up your wallet or purse and gladly put it near your mouth, but you’d have no qualms about doing that very thing with your phone which has often been in the same dirty positions. You hopefully wash your hands regularly, but how often do you wash your phone, the most intimate of devices?
If you’re ashamed to answer that question, even in your head, then read on.
Ever since phones have become smart they have wheedled their way into aspects of our life that were traditionally phoneless. For some they have become a necessity for every possible act throughout the day, including using them in places they shouldn’t, such as taking them into the bathroom. All so they don’t lose a moment of their precious time which could be dedicated towards their angry birds addiction, which is what it must be if they’re willing to go to these lengths to play it.
Solution: Start playing announcements like we hear at the start of flights, but in restrooms and other unclean areas, telling people to turn off all electronic devices until it’s safe to use them again. Still people will cheat like they do on flights, so fines will have to be brought in which will unfortunately bog the whole process down with legislature having to pass through parliament before we can see these bathroom mavericks exposed.
While it’s obvious that smartphones harbour bacteria and disease gathered from being put down on any service available so as to free up your hand for a well deserved high five; they are also carriers of their users bacteria and diseases. So if your friends passes you their phone so you can tell the Dominos driver exactly where in the hell unit 1513B is in the complex or they pass you their phone so you can watch a funny video that they’ve found on The Humour Server, don’t take it! Even if they look health, because trust me, there are funnier ways to catch herpes.
Solution: Let the Dominos driver figure it out for themselves, as it will be a good character building exercise. In the other instance just get your friend to send you the link to watch it on your own phone, as it only has diseases that you’ve already contracted.
Your mouse is more like a mollusc than you probably give it credit for. Over repetitive use by sticky, gritty, dirty hands, input interfaces slowly build up a protective coating, which is strange as they have no known predators, unless… wait a minute, we’re the ones who harm the devices, we’re the predators… Noooooo! Anyway, in the instance of computer input devices it’s not uncommon after repetitive use to get mouse grime that can become so thick that it forms an exoskeleton, so you can no longer touch the actual mouse underneath.
Solution: This can be remedied through a regular cleaning regime, much like you have for other items in contact with your body such as you clothes. So while your mouse is currently forever unclean, with a swipe of a wet wipe it doesn’t have to be.
Eating at your computer may seem like a romantic meal for two, or at the very least as a time saving endeavour. If it’s the former then you need more help than this article can provide, but as to the latter, it won’t actually be saving you much time, once you take into account the hours wasted cleaning between the tiny gaps around the keys on your keyboard with an old toothbrush. So while your device may do a lot of things it doesn’t have very good crockery specifications, just check the box yourself if you don’t believe me.
When it comes to sitting at your computer having a meal, the keyboard invariably bears the brunt of the bread crumbs, tomato juices and excess exotic pickled condiments that drop down falling in between the keys. Now you might try to calmly pass this off to friends, family and co-workers as all part of your grand plan to start up a compost under there; and while your argument that it’s good for the environment might be valid, it’s still not good for you.
Solution: It’s pretty simple, don’t have meals at your computer! But if you can’t stop doing it, at least check out the video below for a product that can help.
While some of these argument might not sway you right now, organic advances in technology may give you the push. Case in point, the Samsung Galaxy 5 now comes with a fingerprint scanner, which can authorise PayPal transactions. Extrapolating from that it might not be too far into the future before phones start coming with DNA scanners for the next level of security. Then when you want to authorise your purchase of a hover-board on eBay, you won’t be able to get away with just touching your device, you may have to suck on it too!
So while it might be easy for you to dismiss the cleanliness of your device right now, how do you think you’ll feel once it starts going inside you.
If you feel that your device has just been through too much and can’t be decontaminated then check out the offerings in the SuperGeek Shop for a new device that you can now maintain to ISO 22000 standards.
Just because you’re a shut-in who lives in an hermetically sealed house, doesn’t mean you can’t receive technical computer support. I’m not talking about a technician wearing a hazmat suit climbing over mountains of discarded pizza boxes to do it either. Remote help allows for a technician to access your computer via the internet and operate it as if they were sitting in front of your computer using your keyboard or mouse which is perfect for delivering quick PC repairs.
Originally designed to help recluses and evil geniuses who live in lairs on remote islands surrounded by treacherous shark infested waters, who no longer have I.T. departments due to redundancies brought on by efficiency expert’s findings in the mid 2000’s; remote access technology can allow access no matter where you are, so long as you can connect to the internet. If the problem you have is lack of internet connectivity you may have to call in a specialised team of computer technicians to assail your perilous Island, someone like the I.T.eam.
In the 1950’s computers were so big that you could get inside one to fix it just by taking the side off and going for a leisurely stroll past the vacuum tubes the size of a bus. Over the years computers have become smaller, but technicians have tended to stay human sized. Unfortunately the technology to shrink people down to pilot tiny spaceships to get inside a computer to fix it, have not kept pace with component miniaturization.
This fact coupled with advances in computer diagnoses and repair through remote help has finally put the last nail in the coffin of tiny spaceship builders who had it too good for too long anyway. All it takes is to download a program which both you and the technician will run simultaneously and you’ll be able to watch as they move your mouse around and fix the issue. Kind of like riding a tandem bike; but remotely, not on an uncomfortable bicycle seat and you get to sit back with your feet up instead of pedaling. So in actuality closer to the polar opposite of riding a tandem bike.
Remote things are awesome. A TV remote means you never have to stand up again, while acting remote means you don’t have to worry about human feelings getting in the way of your everyday life. Objectively remote help isn’t as much fun as a remote controlled car or helicopter but it does share some similarities with unmanned aerial drones, with the added bonus that it is very unlikely innocent bystanders will be taken out while your pc is fixed. You can also trick dimwitted friends into thinking your computer is possessed, though you may also be able to trick them by claiming you’ve stolen their nose.
You probably wouldn’t have any qualms about letting a computer technician into your house when they turn up in their fancy branded van with a crisp polo shirt brandishing an insignia; but someone turning up in a bomby old car might raise suspicions. However when it comes to inviting someone remotely onto your computer it can be harder to evaluate them. They could be scammers trying to trick you into handing over access to your pictures of you wearing different types of headbands!
One option is to hire a private investigator who will be able to track the technician down, go through their trash, follow them for a few weeks to note their habits and get any dirt on them before agreeing to let them remotely fix your computer. If hiring a gumshoe is a bit out of your league, you could save money by just choosing a trusted reliable computer repair business to help you.
The human body uses electricity to control signals between cells at about 0.1 volts, if you’ve ever been electrocuted by sticking a fork in the power socket and receiving a mighty 240 volts (2400 times more), you would know first hand that excess power is not fun, or possibly you don’t know as premature death can play havoc with the memory. Either way it’s a tough lesson to learn and one that most child coddling schools have stopped teaching. To help breach this knowledge gap we’ve compiled some simple lessons that will clear up some misunderstandings when it comes to electricity and surge protection.
When we get a surge of power, it’s great because we can jump higher and run faster, and from there it may seem a logical leap that a power surge should make a computer faster too. Sadly this along with never being able to know what love feels like, is the major difference between us and computers as they will blow up. So make sure you never let anything over 300 volts get near it, as it won’t like it.
A power surge is an aggressive attack on your household electrical system, and while your surge protector will fight it, unfortunately it won’t send the surge back to where it came from while yelling out “That’s what I’m talking about?” No in reality, power surge protectors are pansies. All they want to do is disconnect your electronic devices like they’re women and children in a besieged medieval village, and lock them in the cellar. Which is good news as your computer will be safe from marauding electrons, but you’ll always be left wondering if your computer was tough enough to take on the surge by itself and win.
A homemade lightning rod may seem like a smart cheap option to protect your electronics, but unfortunately protecting your house from personal lightning strikes isn’t good enough, because you’re connected to the grid, so any lightening strike in your area can still get to you.
Still as a means to protect your computer from a direct lightning strike through your computer room window, which is obviously highly probable, it would be quite handy indeed. However the neighbourhood beautification committee might have a few things to say about the 500 metal coat hangers you’ve join together and erected in your front yard, not to mention how much ironing you’d have to do from all your shirts being kept in drawers.
There was once a time when you would have to pull open your power box and use all the dexterity of an old fisherman to replace the thin metal wire that was the fuse. You no longer have to do this, as fancy new circuit breaker technology means that the connection can be reset with a mere flick of a switch. While this is certainly more convenient, it’s hard not to lament the fact that the majestic art of fuse wire replacement handed down from generation to generation is now slowly being lost to humanity.
We hope that hearing all this hasn’t upset you, but if you’re at all worried then find out some more information on Surge Protectors below.
Sure, you don’t really need an excuse when it comes to buying a new smartphone or tablet, you’re the one who earns the money, you should be able to spend it as you see fit. Still let’s suspend reality and discuss this as if you do need an excuse or convincing argument to buy an expensive new device.
When you hold your device your hands will be on display just as much as the device, so you need to make sure they look good too. You definitely need to check out the awesome new products from Techknuckle Solutions.
Screen size can’t really improve unless you’re willing to get bigger pockets, but the resolution can still improve. Now you may have a really good screen on your device, but it’s probably only discernibly good. The new device you’re looking at has a screen with such a high resolution, its quality isn’t even discernible by human sight. Now that is something that everyone should have, because when they say discernible that’s a lie, because when your friends see it, (not the screen but the whole phone) they will definitely be able to discern that your screen is discernibly better than theirs.
Whatever amount of memory your current device has, you need more, even if it’s 128 GB, then you need a microSD expansion slot for another 128GB. How else are you going to bootleg the next Hobbit movie on boxing day in 4K? If they believe this one then you might even be able to get away with asking for two of them so you can film it in 3D.
Life is short, you can’t be expected to wait an extra 0.3 seconds, every time you want to check Facebook. Over the course of the next year that could add up to nearly an hour, Sure it will take a good chunk out of your weekly wage to afford the new device but… think about the medical fees that will be alleviated by reducing your anxiety related to your device not loading quickly enough.
Now this is the most powerful excuse out there. If it happens naturally all the better, but annoyingly so many of these phone just seem to keep going and going even when you don’t want them to. If I hadn’t thrown my iPhone 3s off a bridge I’d still be stuck with it. So while this excuse is basically a guarantee to get a new device, it isn’t one to be carried out by the squeamish, because as you stand over your old phone with a brick held aloft in your hand, it’s not uncommon to start to get nostalgic about all the good times you’ve had with it. The only thing to remember is that your partner might get suspicious if your phone keeps breaking on the exact day a new model comes out.
Disclaimer: SuperGeek makes no guarantees that if you break your phone that you will get a new one, not unless that is one of the wishes that you asked of your genie.
It’s hard to go past getting a new device or upgrading your computer if you find a great deal! So if you’re looking for a great deal on a delivered, installed, setup and networked device, then check out our offerings in the SuperGeek Shop.
Since April 8th 2014 Microsoft has stopped providing support for Windows XP. This means no security updates which has a lot of the people still running XP also running scared. There’s only one thing you can do to feel safe again and that is upgrade to either Windows 7 or 8, which depending on the age of your PC may also require a new computer. While you ponder that, we thought we wouldn’t look on the doom and gloom of Windows XP’s passing, but instead focus on the good times as we;
Before we start crying about our dear friend we took some time to find out about Data Heaven, the place where XP is going.
Dear Windows XP, my friend. I don’t feel any shame in letting you know that the rolling hills of my childhood were those seen in your default desktop background. I think fondly of them every time I consider going for a walk, before instead staying at my computer and watching YouTube videos.
Windows XP and I became friends in 2003, I was coming off a bad relationship with Windows ME, which had promised me so much, for one it claimed it was the operating system of the new millennium, but it was just lies. But with you I found my operating system soul mate.
In the beginning like with any new relationship there was a lot of feeling each other out, there were parts of me that I wasn’t comfortable sharing early on, I didn’t know how you would take my extensive collections of raw tiff cat photos or the complex web of file associations from the more than 15 music players that I would install. I remember fondly my first blue screen of death with XP, I had foolishly tried to click on the start button. I had a great deal to learn about you too.
We’ve been through some tough times, but you always had my back and I always had yours. Like the time I turned on my computer after putting in some new hardware to find that you had been declared fraudulent by Windows Genuine Advantage. How dare Microsoft say that about you I thought. I’d had your back though and I endured those long conversations with Microsoft technical support until you were declared legitimate once more. I nearly think they did it because no one was calling them due to your excellent performance as an operating system, so they were just looking for someone to talk to them …or in this case abuse them.
I promised myself I wouldn’t cry….. But this brings back the feelings that I had in the summer of 2009 when I thought I’d lost you. I still think about that day the power went out while you were installing non-critical updates. I will forever anguish over why I took such risks installing the Spanish, German and Arabic language packs even though I didn’t speak any of them. But you wouldn’t leave me though and eventually after days of different system recovery tools you came back. You were never quite the same though, you no longer showed image thumbnails and 5 Internet Explorer tabs and you were flat on your ass.
Over the years XP, you and I viewed our fair share of websites and downloaded our fair share of files, but after over 10 years together I was starting to notice that you were becoming a bit forgetfully, often you couldn’t find where you’d placed shortcut’s .exe files, or you would blue screen, claiming it was someone called the Kernel’s fault. I didn’t like to see you like that, and I’m glad that you’ve now moved on to a better place, Data Heaven, where you can once again lord it over the old DOS based operating systems for eternity.
Outside of child birth, marriage is one of the biggest steps you can make in your life, but unfortunately some people don’t fully consider what that union really means. Sure everyone knows you have to share your life with them, but no one mentioned anything about having to share your computer, that wasn’t in the marriage vows! At SuperGeek we want to help keep your marriage on track, so we’ve identified through peer reviewed research, 6 bad habits that could put your married bliss in jeopardy.
Hopefully you trust your partner and your pretty confident that you’ll never have to experience any infidelity in your marriage. But I guess that depends on what you consider an infidelity. Ask yourself when was the last time your computer had a problem, one month ago? Two? A year? Or two? Trust us when we say no computer works forever without eventually getting an error, so if you’re not fixing it, and they’re not fixing it, who’s fixing it? When it comes to computer maintenance you might be getting cheated on! This video shows you some of the signs to look for.
This is a partner who will always clear the recycle bin, even if they weren’t the ones who put the files in there, or actually deleted anything while they were on the computer. They don’t realise that, sure you deleted them, but you only did that as a first step while you were still considering whether to commit to a full blown removal. And only now after sleeping on it, do you realise that yes, you do in fact want that picture of Higgins from Magnum P.I. eating a banana. Which you will now have to download from the internet all over again.
Solution: Set boundaries.
In this instance tab isn’t short for tablet, we’re talking about the hard stuff, browser tabs. Do you sit down at the computer for some leisurely internet browsing for chimpanzee frisbee videos, only to find that there’s so many tabs open in the browser, that there’s not even any space for a label to tell you what the tab is? But heaven forbid if you try to close any of them. ”Where’s the site I had open that showed me how to make homemade toothpaste?”
Solution: Intervention, invite everyone who has been callously hurt by their excessive tabbery and let them know your pain.
Now maybe you’re not a neat freak or someone very obsessive compulsive at all. It’s still nice to have things orderly, the mouse on top of the mouse mat and not vice versa for example, which makes the anarchist all the more frustrating to deal with. You can be reasonable, but how can you live in such a state when they leave files all over the desktop so it turns your desktop into a real life game of minesweeper. Damn it! Not Nero! I wanted Word.
Solution: His and hers window accounts
Does your partner think they’re hot stuff when it comes to maintaining your computer? Do they have a slightly higher level of computer knowledge that they like to flaunt in your face, “Don’t stick that in there it’s only a USB 2 port silly”. Do they take way too much satisfaction in bringing up facts from the occasional technical article they read or have very strong opinions on other’s opinions of the technical details of the NBN.
Solution: Public Shaming; the only recourse for this is to bring in a true expert and shame them publicly. Organise a BBQ with all your friends and family, then bring out the computer to play music, with a few of the more hidden sound options muted and just let them hang themselves before your plant saves the day. If you don’t have any friends who are technically up to the task, don’t worry because SuperGeek offer a special undercover shaming service. It will however cost slightly more than our regular service, but hey good fake moustaches aren’t cheap.
The Control Freak, also known as the blamer is the person who dominates the home computer, they are the one who installs new software, they are the one who defragments the hard drive, they are the one who changes the wallpaper. The upside of this is, if you’re not interested in the maintenance of your computer, you get access to a top machine, the downside however is, anything that goes wrong with it is your fault. You’ll hear phrases such as “Why is the mouse moving so quickly, did you change a setting?” Why is the browser zoomed in to 125%?” and the way through to “How could you get this virus? Do you hate me so much you deliberately turned off the antivirus?”.
Solution: This one is a case of irreconcilable differences, not even getting your own computer can help you here, you need to get a new partner.
SuperGeek doesn’t believe in traditional counselling philosophies, what we offer is actually computer training to correct any technical skill imbalance in your relationship, which we believe will get your relationship back on an even keel. Find out more about SuperGeek computer training below.
In the first Taken film in the series Liam Nesson plays Bryan Mills, a man whose daughter is taken while on holiday in Paris, there is a rumour however that the plot was originally based on his daughter’s data being taken as seen in the unreleased poster below. However at the time the movie studio didn’t think audiences were ready for such a plot, but since the rise of ransomware attacks in the news and public awareness the original plot is being recovered and used in the third film in the franchise Taken 3.
For those who aren’t aware Ransomware is a strain of trojan horse in which the virus accesses your computer and encrypt your data so you cannot access it. At this time you then receive a message from your ransomers, who are so lazy they don’t even take the time to write it with magazine and newspaper clipped letters, asking for money in return for your precious data. Don’t worry knowing that isn’t a spoiler for the film.
Liam Nesson is set to reprise his role as a man who, as all hardcore Taken fans will know, has a very particular set of skills; skills he has acquired over a very long career, which apparently included data recovery. Physical data recovery that is, which in this instance we’re not talking SuperGeek style physical data recovery with hard drive platters or microchips, more the punching, kicking and shooting variety of recover data. Still it’s been a long time coming for a lead actor in a Hollywood action film to show off some data recovery skills instead of merely relying on their nerdy sidekick to jump in.
In the first film his daughter was taken and he got a bit annoyed, in the second film his wife got taken, again he got annoyed, maybe even a little frustrated given it was happening again, in the third movie though when his data gets taken he understandably goes fully nuts. They are going to regret even thinking about taking his holiday snaps from Thailand.
In the first movie there was a high level of punching, kicking, jumping, shooting and grappling, and that isn’t going to change for the next movie, if anything it will increase, involving even more punching,. kicking, jumping, shooting and grappling, this time with data, or at the very least whilst holding a USB stick. Which makes it no surprise that this film is setting new records in terms of budget for the number of USB devices destroyed in a single scene.
The film studio has been doing a lot of work though to allay fears, and has assured everyone that no data will harmed in the making of the film. Still accidents happen so we should prepare ourselves.
Check out this video for tips on how to protect you and your family from ransomware.
Having trouble with a virus? Don’t wait get a SuperGeek to come check it out right now!
Most times it is a legal requirement for a business selling a product to include a warranty policy, even if the policy just states that there really is no warranty. However this is not always true for items purchased from the back of lorries, though some enterprising car boot salesman are beginning to offer warranties and are especially keen to upsell customers to their extended warranty plans, safe in the knowledge that they’re a car paint job away from nullifying clause 8c.
With that in mind we’ve assembled a list of 5 not actually very deadly at all reasons to read the warranty policy.
Special circumstances, sounds sexy and mysterious. It gets even more sexy when the target of the special circumstances is computer sales, oh yeah! Here’s a question that people often forget to ask about their warranty policies.
It seems that some warranty policy writers are having the same trouble as Game of Thrones author George R. R. Martin, in that they set out to write something and it ends up getting so complicated that it has no end in sight.
It’s gotten so bad that even if you think the policy is short, it will undoubtedly contain a website links to where the real warranty lives with it’s sub clauses and whole sections just defining words, like appropriate and reasonable, something which the person who wrote the policy obviously doesn’t understand, given it’s length and the expectation that we have to read it.
Find out how Tyrien Limiteder and Defectilon Targaryen fare in the next Game of Warranties, due out in three years.
One of the most important aspects of a warranty policy is reading what is excluded from it, and by that I don’t mean sections that have been excluded from the actual warranty policy, which would be impossible because they wouldn’t in fact exist for you to read. No, I’m definitely referring to the components of the device which are excluded from the policy. I hope this wasn’t over complicated, however just consider it training for reading future warranty policies.
Here’s a tableau which might be familiar to some
You – “It says here on the policy that the warranty covers everything except for this tiny screw. Can you tell me is it an integral screw?”
Warranty Department – “Extremely so”
You – “Does it break often?”
Warranty Department – “It’s the only thing that does break, why do you think we left it out of the policy”
While a lot of effort goes into making the products as free from error as possible, it still happens. And the same can be said of warranty policy as well. Begging the question is there a warranty on the warranty in-case it’s faulty? Probably not, but what are you to do when you open your policy and the staples aren’t strictly in the fold meaning when you open the document some words in the crease are hard to make out. When the printing is poor and some words are blurry, or even when some words are misspelt. How does one know if they’re in “beach of warranty”?
When it comes to the period of the warranty, they can go from one year all the way up to a lifetime. Is the offer of a one year a clear admission that they don’t think it can last more than a year without fault, or it just a play to get us to pay extra for an extended warranty, or does the offer of an extended warranty show they are so confident they don’t think it will break. These questions are right up there with, what is the meaning of life, we might never know the answers.
Also what does lifetime warranty really mean, whose lifetime is it? The person who bought it? If it’s the person who currently owns it, then it may never go out of warranty. For example an electrical screwdriver is something that can be passed down from generation to generation. Or is it the lifetime of the product? Which in some cases can be very short, but maybe it was just the vacuum cleaners time to go.
Of course these are all questions that unfortunately can be answered by reading the warranty policy. I hope by raising these questions that we may have igniting your passion to read the next warranty policy that comes your way, so you can finally be informed, unlike how this article will leave you.
Which is why you should go check out the SuperGeek 3 Year Warranty Policy for all the details.
SuperGeeks aren’t just regular geeks, through extensive training and years of experience problem solving computer issues, they have developed special skills to aid them in computer repair, see how you stack up against them.
Fortunately the Discovery Channel filmed a short documentary on the majestic creature that is the SuperGeek.
We’re not talking how many times they go to the bathroom when they’re feeling skittish, a SuperGeek has such a strong affinity with technology that their nervous system extends outside of their body into surrounding electronics. It is both a strength and a weakness, as by simply dropping their smart phone, they can become almost paralysed with actual physical pain.
Through the years of computer repair SuperGeeks have developed a keen set of senses. They can hear and track a failing hard drive from over a 100 km away, sense minor fluctuations in the clock frequency of RAM by touch and can confirm a dodgy power supply merely by tasting it.
When it comes to self confidence SuperGeeks are not like other geeks, they have so much technical confidence that it spills over into other aspects of their life, so much so that they relish the opportunity to make speeches at wedding, barter with merchants, and be nude life models for local art clubs.
SuperGeeks have a hive mind so are able to call upon the knowledge base of the entire pack through a wireless telepathic system known as Mind-Fi. Besides making them really good at pub trivia nights, it also means it’s never just one SuperGeek fixing your computer, it’s all of them.
SuperGeeks have evolved to the point where they draw energy directly from repairing broken computers. Given this they have also developed a mutually beneficial relationship with their prey’s human symbiods in which they will alert SuperGeeks via either telephony or email of their hosts pc problems, thus quickly identifying good feeding.
With their insatiable appetite for broken computers, SuperGeek roam far and wide in search of sustenance throughout Metropolitan areas in Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, the Gold Coast and Sunshine Coast. In order to quench their enormous appetite they are constantly on the move, relying on their van’s GPS to find prey, and their fully stocked parts to maximise their ability to quickly feed.
Fortunately due to their vans, SuperGeeks are very mobile, so if you have a computer problem or need a nude model for a drawing class then book a SuperGeek to come to your home or office today so you can marvel at them in person.
Even the most amateur of us computer users knows that condensation and data storage are enemies, yet somehow the ridiculous idea to name data servers after an ephemeral constantly transitioning state of water that could fall from the sky at any minute has stuck. Regardless of its name The Cloud can be quite beneficial and here are 5 reason why.
Much like its namesake, the cloud will allow you to drift aimlessly through life while still being able to source your data at a moments notice. Basically a digital version of He-Man who calls down the power of information and word documents rather than the power of Grey Skull. Meaning even you, a literal vagabond, will still be able to access your digital bindle from anywhere in the world (that has internet, so under the sea you will still be better off with paper).
So long as you’re willing to agree to a 100 page user agreement without paying a team of lawyers thousands of dollars to go through the terms and conditions with a fine tooth comb, most cloud services can be obtained for free. However if you don’t like the idea of storing your data at the largesse of big business you can also pay for your own dedicated service relatively cheaply. SuperGeek have their own affordable packages here.
For anyone who already has their head in the clouds, cloud storage is the safest way to take care of your data. Unlike the name suggests the cloud is actually stored in a solid state in buildings on the ground using highly secure encryption technology and can be accessed using a program and a password. This is especially handy for people prone to losing things like thumb drives or briefcases, and as an added bonus by ridding yourself of the need for thumb drives or micro SD cards, you can save hundreds of dollars by not having to replace pants with holes in the pockets.
Okay so maybe you’re not famous or fabulously rich, but you can still create a legacy, even if it’s just a digital one. After your flesh has gone back into the earth, your data will live on forever, in all likelihood being used as a back story for an artificial intelligence. And who knows? When your descendants look through your cloud storage in future years, maybe your haiku about the cola wars will finally gain some appreciation.
Everyone has a hard time throwing things out, because who knows? One day you might need that broken table tennis racquet and you’d feel pretty silly if you’d binned it only 14 years beforehand. The problem is, it’s only a short drive down to crazy town, where your whole house smells like the cat pee you’ve obsessively hoarded for the last decade and some nice men from the council have arrived with a backhoe and a piece of paper authorising them to tear down the world’s second tallest mountain of broken pedestal fans you have on your driveway.
Thankfully, by storing all your information in the cloud, even the best psychiatrists won’t be able to tell that you’re an information hoarder, meaning you can keep your data with no social stigma attached. However when it comes to accessing your mountains of data, any rocking back and forth in the foetal position will still be a dead giveaway.
If you often look at your computer with abject disgust because it takes a second more than you deem warranted to load Google. If you find your regular workload of programs renders your computer non-responsive leaving you with no option but to watch as your mouse moves across the screen one pixel at a time, as though through molasses. Or if it’s going to take the rest of your lifetime to sequence your DNA by which time the data will be useless.
… then you’re probably ready for the next step up, a supercomputer.
While it’s admirable that you want to build a Super Computer, but unless you’ve done it before you may need help. Check out this video on how SuperGeek can help you build your own super computer.
Sure you’ve got a couple of old computer laying around, but that isn’t the best place to start because a supercomputer is only as good as it’s weakest part, a lesson taught to us all by the Windows Experience Index. So consider this when buying components, because having a supercomputer with the processing power to predict the stock market isn’t going to do you any good if it keeps blue screening on you before you can even buy into the ice cream futures market.
Many newcomers foolishly start building their supercomputer in their bedroom only to run out of room as more and more motherboards are added in parallel. The desk is usually the first thing to go, followed quickly by the closet, until finally the bed is removed leaving you to try sleeping every night crammed into one of the larger computer cases you have.
When dealing with Supercomputers there is the ever lurking danger that it may become sentient, sure that might seem great that you finally have a friend, but it’s too risky as it could easily destroy the world. So save humanity and join a book club or beekeeping society instead, if you don’t believe me check out The Matrix to see what can happen.
Sure right now you’re keen as mustard to build a computer, but that can easily wane after months of trial and error. So keep motivated by making sure you have a few nefarious schemes already cooked up with which you plan to utilise the awesome computing power of your supercomputer. For starters this could be taking control of the world banking system, over-riding satellite communication systems or at the very least busting into your local library computer system to remove your late fees.
Any computer that SuperGeek make is going to be Super, so check out the SuperGeek Shop to customise your very own computer.
No.1 would have to be the power cycle from the film Jour de fête (1949)….Sorry wrong power cycle.
In the last 30 years computers have got humans in all kinds of scrapes, but the blue screen of death claiming your painstakingly typed 3 page ode to tacos hardly compares with what happens in films; where every computer in charge of anything is only one minor glitch away from going crazy with power. Now while everyone knows you can fix a wide range of computer problems with a power cycle, it doesn’t make for a very long or exciting movie. Even with extreme slow motion cameras these days, hitting the restart button on a computer can only be stretched out to 5 minutes tops. Screenwriters had to be creative to achieve some sort of point of difference when a restart is the ultimate goal of the protagonist. Here’s the top 5 unique ways power cycling is used in movies, albeit after 90 minutes of supposition.
In this art house tech thriller an unruly computer makes a mockery of it’s owners power cycle attempts, pushing them to their breaking point. So desperate is their need to continue online shopping they finally try the risky ultimate power cycle. While the full movie goes for about 90 minutes this clip sums up all the poignant plot points and character development quite succinctly.
When it came to shutting Hal down, it was more like an awkward bro-mance breakup than a power cycle. Hal’s soulful giant red eye didn’t make it any easier either. So breaking up with a computer can be difficult, the standard it’s not you it’s me doesn’t work, because it is them, most specifically an incompatible DLL in their processing kernel.
Matthew Broderick hacks into NORAD using a computer with less processing strength than a mid 90s Tamagotchi to play a text based game, all because he was bored. Despite the ridiculous notion that anyone would play a text based computer game to alleviate boredom, somehow Broderick with the help of Ally Sheedy accidentally makes the NORAD computer think Russia is attacking so begins to launch a retaliatory attack, that is before Broderick makes it play noughts and crosses against itself teaching it a valuable lesson about futility, which Ally Sheedy went on to learn about in the 1990s by trying to keep her movie career going.
It’s a well known fact that you can’t change a computer’s moral compass with a hot swap, you need to do a full power cycle.
What better way to save the future than catching a robot terminator (that looks exactly like the one that traveled back in time to kill your mum, that forced your best friend to also travel back in time to stop it, resulting in your best friend banging your mum and turning out to be your father), rebooting it as a good guy and sending it back in time to protect yourself as a whiny pissant teenager while also making your severely PTSD mother go even further off the deep end? If you’re John Connor then there is none.
No you’re not misremembering your childhood, this isn’t Clive Palmer presents Jurassic park where a power cycle is an obvious solution to an out of control stegosaurus. In Jurassic park they created living dinosaurs, who strangely enough could still only be bested by performing a computer restart. The only problem was they put the restart button behind the raptor cage. Damn it..
Sometimes even the mighty Power Cycle fails, at such times remember that SuperGeek are always there ready to come to your home or office and fix the problem.
To find get help from a mobile computer technician click below.