The internet is a great place for finding out information that can help us in our day to day, but what may start out as a practical check on the barometric pressure 12 storeys above sea level, can quickly turn into clicking through endless picture galleries that compare popular actor’s body shapes to the different type of bean they resemble. This coupled with your healthy interest in staying up to date with fitness trends; meaning you read so many articles on the subject, that you don’t have any actually time available to carry out such exercises, could mean that you have an internet time wasting problem.
Fortunately we’ve thought up ways to try and curb your time wasting online and compiled it in a top 5 list, which if you’re here reading this, is your preferred method of taking in information.
Make a challenge with a friend to try and curb each others internet dalliances, by setting a nasty consequence for the loser. Given you’re both addicts and duplicitous in nature, the trust system wouldn’t work, but luckily monitoring programs can be set up these days to track internet usage. Obviously it’s still up to exploitation, if for example you wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night and hoof it to your local internet cafe, (if one still exists near you that is) to get your fix.
While this solution is great for helping those with mild problems, it won’t work on hardcore internet junkies, as the stakes won’t be high enough, because you can still peruse the internet just as effectively with no eyebrows, as you can with them.
If you already know everything then chances are the internet isn’t going to be as an exciting a place. For example an article on “The Top 5 Inventions from the Industrial Revolution that are Still in Use Today!” won’t be anywhere near as appealing; unless you’re looking for some validation on how sound your knowledge of 18th century steam turbines is, just to put a hop in your step.
However this kind of knowledge is hard to accumulate and unfortunately is most readily available on the very medium which we are trying to save you from. So until direct, information to brain downloads become a commercial reality, it’s probably too laborious of a process. Sorry, this one was a bit of a waste of your time. Our bad!
As we mentioned at the start there are legitimate reasons to use the internet, these can normal be accomplished quickly. An example of misappropriation of time, is If it takes you three hours to decide on which movie to see at the cinema, because you can’t make a decision unless you read all the “Top 5 Lists” detailing other movies each principal cast member and crew has been in, all the way down to what the clapper loader has worked on.
What we suggest here may seem drastic but read us out, we’ve devised a simple case or keyboard dongle which coupled with an app monitors your internet usage and provides an as uncomfortable as humanly possible, (while still being safe) shock to your hands as each top 5 list loads on your screen.
While this could lead to problems through abuse by any sadomasochistic internet users, the rewards to the rest of humanity easily outway it. So it sounds pretty great huh, well it could be, with your help as it’s not yet made, but here is a draft of our kickstarter for the Top 5 Zapper project, let us know what you think.
For some the very idea of having to sit up straight at a desk looking at a computer is enough of a disincentive to stay off the internet, for these people though, mobile computing is their poison. There are tonnes of great mobile data plans out there which provide multiple gigabytes worth of downloading pleasure at your fingertips. The easy solution to curb this freedom is get the worst one around. You may have to search long and hard for a monthly plan with only 100MB of data with a 50¢/ MB excess data fee, but once you do, it will easily stop any wayward internet browsing.
Your weak will to resist any content that starts with Top 5 is what got you into this mess and this article isn’t going to be able to magically fix that, it’s actually facilitating it. So you can’t tackle the issue through force of will, but another option is to put natural barriers in place to curb your inquisitive nature. This can be achieved by only using the internet when you have 5 minutes before you have to do something really important, like go to work, pick a friend up from the airport or eat a foot long hot dog. Obviously we now have the technology so the internet can follow us via our mobiles, so in this case you should only start to use the internet just before you have to walk into a building with bad reception or right before you’re about to enter a really long tunnel.